Bullshitting My Way Through

What the hell. First it snowed, then the weather turned all chinook-like, now it’s sunny and raining? Where am I? Did I just step into some fucked up time warp? Anyway, on to the real reason I’m here.

Work. Yes, I’m going to rant about work.

At Job #1, we are going to begin using a new booking system. Last week a group of us received training so that once we’re forced to leave our comfort zone of what we’re currently using, we won’t be shocked. Well I, unfortunately, was not able to attend the full sessions of training. First I had to go back to the office early because budgets *gag* had to be done at the end of business day. Then I had to miss the session where we actually got to book past/future/active events because I had to do a last minute contract that was brought to me.

Today we had a group of four people come in to do data entry into the new system. The go-to lady, who is very familiar with the system, was in the training room helping these folks out in case they had any questions. Just before lunch I was informed that she had to return to the office so they would need someone to head over to the training room and watch over/help the four people. Who’d they pick? ME.

HAH! I say, HAH! What the hell did I know about this damn system?! Not a lot!

So after lunch I head over there and ohmygod was it terrible. Bring in the court jester to entertain the village idiots! The questions. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, THE QUESTIONS. I had no answer to the majority of the questions they had because, well, I didn’t get the training I needed! Guaranteed they think I’m stupid. And we won’t even get into the lady who needs the entire world catering her every need like, “Um, do you have a better chair here? Or a better desk? Cause like, this setup isn’t very good for doing work like this.”

I DON’T GIVE A GODDAMN FLYING-FUCK. It’s all we got lady! Which might I add, the desk and chair were perfectly fine.

So as they finished up their work and started to leave, they’re all like, “Okay, bye! See you tomorrow!” And I’m all like (thinking to myself), “Not in this lifetime!”

And that’s when I get the phone call.

“Hi AJ? Yeah, tomorrow we’ll need you back there in the afternoon to help them enter more profiles that we’ll be printing off tomorrow morning.”

I don’t know how much more I can bullshit my way through this.

Destruction On Wheels

Monster Jam was last night! If I could, I would go all three days, but you know, there’s that thing called work.

With no surprise, it was just as great as I remember it from two years ago. VA-VA-VAROOOOOM!

For my birthday this year, I’m totally asking for a monster truck of my very own. Yes. In HOT PINK. Oh god, can you imagine the damage I could do?!

*insert maniacal laughter*

“AHH-HAH-HAH-HAH FUCKERS! BACK ON UP, I’M COMING THROUGH!”

“Look at you loooooser! I’ma crush you… like a bug!”

*insert more maniacal laughter*

Geezus. This idea of mine is way better than when I wanted an army tank. Pshaw. Army tanks are just not fast enough for the kind of fun I would be looking for.

Crack

No, no! Not that kind of crack.

Crack as in the wonderful sound/feel that only a chiropractor can make. After at least a year of torturous back and neck pain, I finally decided to try out the chiropractor my dad and sister go to. Following my spine exams and x-rays, and the realization that hey! my spine is completely fucked, I had my first cracking session today. And oh.my.god. did it feel good. These next few days I’m going to have to try really hard to quit my neck/back cracking habit, ‘cause you know, that can’t be too good to begin with.

Who knows? Maybe now that my spine-issues will be corrected I can finally start to get back into shape. Hah! As if I ever was.

Eye Of The Beholder

Recently I found out that my body piercer is retiring. This gentlemen has done fabulous work for me and has top grade jewelry that I love spending loads of money on. Sure I could go to any other piercer in town, but like hell I want to go to just any person. So, I am set in panic mode and I’m going to have to go on a massive shopping spree to get all the jewelry I want. What worries me is what I’m going to do when it comes time to get more work done. Luckily, I’m not overly concerned right now because my job would probably bend me over and kick my ass for anything that isn’t professional. Pfft, I say, pfffft.

I do have a couple of ideas that I’m throwing around of what I might be able to get without anyone noticing. My plan certainly involves retainers, but I’m not too sure how well that’ll work. This, though, is absolutely gorgeous and I would love to have it temporarily.

You cannot honestly tell me that you wouldn’t love having a corset such as that!

Tag Team Back Again

We, in this area, have been fortunate this winter; plenty of chinooks and plenty of sun. Last night though, Jack Frost decided to tag team Old Man Winter and creep up on us. Yes, we are living the epitome of cold, freezing Canada.

You see, there’s the kind of winter where you’re cold but just cold enough to give your skin those lovely goose bumps. Then there’s the kind of cold where you’re thinking to yourself, gee, my nipples are rock solid! I bet they could cut glass! But then… there’s the kind of winter that – brace yourself – you step outside and suddenly someone’s got a hold of your throat, squeeeezing tight and OHMYFUCKINGGOD THERE ARE SHARP NEEDLES DRAGGING ACROSS THE FIRST SIX LAYERS OF MY SKIN AND I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE KILL ME NOW.

I do not jest.

Where’s that goddamn weather website…

Oh gasp, I think I’m going to pass out. With wind chill… tonight… minus 38.

MINUS 38 DEGREES CELCIUS.

You must excuse me. It’s time to eat everything I can find, fatten myself up and hibernate with the bears.

What To Do In Case Of Fire

Tonight I fend for myself. J works shift work and is currently taking night classes. This evening, it’s the night shift for him. Well fine, whatever. I’ll take this opportunity to do fuck all with the exception of loading the dishwasher and doing laundry. So what have I done so far this evening since returning home from work? Sat on my ass watching television and eating a bag of chips for dinner. But! Lone behold I got some exercising done too!

All was well while I was watching the tele when a distinct, horrid buzzing goes off. Geezus fuck. It was the damn building fire alarm.

The last time the building alarm went off it was Monday morning at around 1:30 a.m. J and I woke up from our slumber and sat in our apartment, with the alarm going off, debating whether or not we should get clothes on and head down the stairs… all 19 floors.

“So uh… should we get dressed?” I asked.

“Um… I don’t know…” He mutters back.

“So… should we like, bring stuff? I want my jewelry. WHAT ABOUT MY GUITARS?!”

*silence*

“Let’s just look off the balcony to see if there are many people waiting below.” Yes, smart idea J.

About 15+ minutes of this later we’re like, “You know, if this is a serious fire, we might be burning very soon.” Yeah. We were still sitting on our asses trying to figure out what to do.

To avoid a repeat of the last time, I called J, let him know what was happening, grabbed my essentials (forgive me guitars, I’m lazy and carrying the both of you down the stairs would have been difficult) and made the long trek down the stairs. By the time I got to floor seven, the buzzing stopped and I had made the executive decision that it was safe enough to go up using the elevator. There was no way in hell I was going to continue walking all the way down and fight my way through a crap load of people just to have them squeeze up against me in an elevator.

Now that I’m back in the comfort of my own home and knowing that all is well – false fire alarm – maybe I should move my ass and get some laundry started. J’s dirty socks are starting to really stink up the place…

Preface

Over the last few years, I've managed to create and tend to quite a few online journals. I refuse to link back to any of them for the reason that I'd like to begin anew.

After months of deliberation, I finally decided that I’d like to give the whole “writing for the fun of it” another try. To be perfectly honest, I was ever so slightly inspired to write again thanks to the many blogs that I’ve been lurking. They have all been filled with extreme excitement and adventure that it made me miss being able to type out my thoughts of the day.

I’m not quite too sure what to expect out of this blog, but I’m almost certain that it’ll be filled with my memories from past years, current and daily musings, and my trademark ranting and raving of pointless crap.

Now, this is where I begin with the useless generics.

I am 23 years old, turning 24 this year.

I live with my boyfriend J, in an apartment downtown, in Calgary.

I’ve been working two jobs for almost two years. Job #1 consists of me wearing business professional clothes, removing some piercings and putting retainers in others. Job #2 consists of me supervising, cake decorating and only hiding one of my piercings. Prior to that I was in college and worked Job #2 on the weekends. I kid you not when I say, since the last four years, I don’t remember what it was like to have weekends off.

Aside from working a lot, which obviously reads for a boring life, I’ve managed to keep up with the shenanigans I somehow get myself into.

Let the excitement begin.