Monday, May 15, 2006

Straight From the Devil

If you are easily offended or dislike a dirty potty mouth, stop reading here – otherwise, proceed.

As I’m sure any faithful readers will know, I am a hardcore Edmonton Oiler fan. I do not go bandwagon hopping when my team is failing and I am proud to admit that I cheer for the “Deadmonton” team. I wear the Oiler shirts proudly and will gladly get in anyone’s face when I am confronted for cheering for the opposing team. I do not bite nor do I pull hair – I use fists and feet… with the occasional crotch kick.

I admit, lately I’ve been consumed with the NHL playoffs. I’m finding it difficult to focus on anything else when the evening arrives. But seriously, it’s hard to focus on anything else when my team is kicking so much ass right now. True I may be jinxing things by being so all and mighty about them, but its okay, because regardless I will still believe they are the best.

Last night Edmonton played against the Sharks in San Jose. Because it was Mother’s Day, I watched the game with my family rather than at a pub. I am certain that my parents were glad to get me out of their house after the game, especially with my sister and me drinking the beer and being very annoying and belligerent.

Firstly, I’d like to mention that the Oilers won AGAIN. The series is now 3-2 Edmonton and the next game shall be a good one.

Secondly, I will begin my ranting and raving regarding the Shark fuckers who think that they can boo along to the Canadian anthem.

If you are reading this, and you are one of those Shark fags that booed along? Get the fuck out and stop reading here.

I currently and gathering up enough sarcasm for this, but I am soooooooo sorry that your team sucks dirty, stankin’ fish cunt that you feel the need to boo to the Canadian anthem. My apologies that this Oiler team from up north is kicking your San-fuckin’-Jose ass so badly that you need to make that pathetic sound from your ignorant mouth. Don’t you pricks even realize that your team has CANADIAN players? You idiots. Maybe we’ll take back some of the great Canadian hockey players you have and ship them back to Canada. Cheechoo, Thornton. Gorges, etc. – WE’LL GODDAMN TAKE THEM BACK. Then we’ll see what a fucking lousy team you’ll have left. HAH. No wait… IT’S ALREADY LOUSY. AAAHAHAHA.

Oh, and booing Pronger? Do you folks in San Jose really believe that booing him is going to put a hex on him? Because honestly? It doesn’t seem to be working. Don’t wear yourselves out and just put an end to it. May as well focus on something constructive, like cheering for your team… maybe it’ll help them win a game here and there.

In the meantime, while you learn to cheer for your damn team instead of booing the other team and until you can learn to open up your mouth for something useful rather than be an ignorant-fuck pissing all over the Canadian anthem, work your larynx by sucking on your choice of prostitute’s strap-on.

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