Monday, April 10, 2006

Pointless Ramblings of a Monday Morning

I am positive that I’m not the only one who HATES Mondays, but seriously, I HATE MONDAYS.

Every Monday it’s the same thing, over and over again.

Step One: Moan and groan like you haven’t slept in years and all you can think about is kicking anyone in the shin that tries to cross your path.

Step Two: Drag your sorry ass to get into gear and begin the day by flopping down on whatever your bum sits on (hopefully a chair of some sort).

Step Three: Whether it’s work, home or school: Open Outlook. Click the Snooze button on all of your tasks to delay the reminder of “Hey! Hi! This is your work for the day. Get me done NOW!” You know the routine – it’s like the alarm clock in the morning.

Snooze. *10 minutes later* Snooze. *15 minutes later* Snooze. Crap. Overslept again.

Step Four: Take a hell of a long time to type anything because suddenly the a’s are turning into o’s and the space bar is the shift bar.

Step Five: Notice that your head is pounding and that coffee hasn’t been mysteriously appeared in front of you.

Okay, so maybe that fucked up routine applies only to me – who knows.

I’ll tell you what I do know… my head is killing me. Horrible, horrible crushing-pounding feeling. Advil doesn’t seem to be helping and I’m thinking that either my eyeglasses need an adjustment or that I’m going through caffeine withdrawal. Even with that, I don’t know what a caffeine withdrawal is like. For all I know, my brain is expanding to outstanding limits that it’s pressing against my skull until one day I wake up and OHMYGOD MY BRAIN HAS SQUEEZED THROUGH EVERY HOLE IN MY HEAD AND NOW I’M BRAINLESS.

eek. I may have frightened myself…

Let’s just hope that a pot of coffee will ease the pain.

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