Eye Definitely Knew It
So how was my weekend? Let me tell ya!
I cleaned. I cleaned like I never cleaned before. Soon my place will be clean and it’ll be like a miracle! J was so proud of me and I am so proud of me.
But then… it all came crashing down on me like a bag of bricks. I swear I am cursed.
Remember this story? Well, *insert sarcasm* I am just sooooo excited that honestly? I just can’t hide it! Another goddamn, cunt-fuck piece of motherlickin’, shit-ass eyeglasses broke on me. HONESTLY. I did NOT break them on purpose like my dad would claim! So now I’ll have to find and pay for a new pair out of my own pocket money because I used up my eyewear benefits back in September last year. Oh, and the finding a pair process? It is a long and torturous process because I am so damn picky with what I put on my face.
Okay, it’s like this. I was craving a slurpee so I was changing into a hoodie so that I could go to a Seven-11. I was taking my eyeglasses off – not in a rough manner like a psycho freak -when all of a sudden SNAP! The piece that connects the eyeglasses to the head broke off. Here I am, standing in the bedroom, glaring at the two separate pieces thinking to myself, “I’ma kill you. THEN BURN YOU ON A STAKE.” Then I threw the broken pieces onto the bed and sulked all the way to the convenience store.
It was horrible. I couldn’t see a thing.
“Excuse me sir, but is the white-walking man telling us that we are allowed to cross the street?”
Because the mall is closed early on Sundays, I wasn’t able to quickly find a new pair. Knowing that I had to somehow survive till the end of the work day, on Monday, I needed to come up with a solution that doesn’t involve taping my eyewear together so that I looked like an even bigger loser. Then, ta-da!, came Super Glue to the rescue! I managed to glue together the two pieces and so far it’s working. It’s a little wobbly and shaky, but I’m hoping it’ll last till 4:30 p.m. (the time I’m off work). It’s a long shot but if all fails, I’m willing to bring on the clear tape.
Now I’m sure there are people out there thinking to themselves, “Just buy contacts! They’re great!” Well I’m sure you are right, but at this moment I’m not sure if I could handle contacts because my eyes are extremely dry, and my left eye had an issue a few years ago which involved an eye patch like a pirate. Eh, that’s a whole story on its own.
I cleaned. I cleaned like I never cleaned before. Soon my place will be clean and it’ll be like a miracle! J was so proud of me and I am so proud of me.
But then… it all came crashing down on me like a bag of bricks. I swear I am cursed.
Remember this story? Well, *insert sarcasm* I am just sooooo excited that honestly? I just can’t hide it! Another goddamn, cunt-fuck piece of motherlickin’, shit-ass eyeglasses broke on me. HONESTLY. I did NOT break them on purpose like my dad would claim! So now I’ll have to find and pay for a new pair out of my own pocket money because I used up my eyewear benefits back in September last year. Oh, and the finding a pair process? It is a long and torturous process because I am so damn picky with what I put on my face.
Okay, it’s like this. I was craving a slurpee so I was changing into a hoodie so that I could go to a Seven-11. I was taking my eyeglasses off – not in a rough manner like a psycho freak -when all of a sudden SNAP! The piece that connects the eyeglasses to the head broke off. Here I am, standing in the bedroom, glaring at the two separate pieces thinking to myself, “I’ma kill you. THEN BURN YOU ON A STAKE.” Then I threw the broken pieces onto the bed and sulked all the way to the convenience store.
It was horrible. I couldn’t see a thing.
“Excuse me sir, but is the white-walking man telling us that we are allowed to cross the street?”
Because the mall is closed early on Sundays, I wasn’t able to quickly find a new pair. Knowing that I had to somehow survive till the end of the work day, on Monday, I needed to come up with a solution that doesn’t involve taping my eyewear together so that I looked like an even bigger loser. Then, ta-da!, came Super Glue to the rescue! I managed to glue together the two pieces and so far it’s working. It’s a little wobbly and shaky, but I’m hoping it’ll last till 4:30 p.m. (the time I’m off work). It’s a long shot but if all fails, I’m willing to bring on the clear tape.
Now I’m sure there are people out there thinking to themselves, “Just buy contacts! They’re great!” Well I’m sure you are right, but at this moment I’m not sure if I could handle contacts because my eyes are extremely dry, and my left eye had an issue a few years ago which involved an eye patch like a pirate. Eh, that’s a whole story on its own.
Labels: Story Time
posted by AJ at
9:55 a.m.
2 Comments:
I gotta hear the pirate story. Arrr! And pictures for me matey for the full effectiveness...
It's quite I story that I will never live down. I only had the pirate look for a week and it was rather depressing. Once I write the story, it'll be obvious why I never took pictures of it, but I'll be sure to re-enact it as best as possible.
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