Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The Walking Disease

Well, just to point out the obvious, because I’m an ass like that, I’m still alive. Although, I admit, I’d rather I weren’t.

Nah, I’m not trying to be a little emo fuck, I’m just stating the truth.

I’ve been ill, folks. Sick. Diseased. Unwell. Below par. A runny nosed, phlegm hacking, nasty person.

Believe me, you, I do have stuff to write about. It’s been awhile since I last posted and plenty has happened since. However, chances are it’ll never get posted because, well, my brain has all but a few brain cells left due to being sick. Seriously though, I’m drinking tea.

I HATE TEA.

For the love of God, I hate tea.

That’s how bad it is. Oh fuck, it tastes so gross. When I start to regain composure again, I’m going to ruffle through my head to find out who suggested this tea crap to me and beat them up for it.

Heh. On the bright side, the last couple of days have been slightly enjoyable. That’s probably because I spent it stoned off my ass. I created myself a cocktail of Cold FX, Dayquil, Benylin, Vitamin C, chicken soup, various juices containing 180% vitamin C and Neocitran. I decided to leave out Advil Cold & Flu because I thought that would be pushing it…

I’ve begun to warn family and friends that if I see a bright light coming from within the dark, I am so going for it.

Did I ever tell you guys the story of when I did see a bright light and I turned it down? OH! Or the time I was visited by Lucifer? Hmm… maybe not. I’ll have to write it out when I’m feeling better. I tell ya, it’s a gooder! Everyone I tell the story to believes that I was hallucinating, but I swear I wasn’t.

Damn this tea is gross.

So, I am at work right now. Contaminating everything, I’m sure. I did take Monday and Tuesday off, but hell, the work is piling up but I cannot focus because I’m too busy shoving Kleenex up my nostrils.

Not the most attractive image, I know. I apologize.

I also apologize for the fact that I’m fucking sweating like a pig sitting in the hot seat of Hell beside Satan. There’s only so much pit-stick that a person can put on before it starts to get really gross.

Okay. This is officially one of the worst posts ever. I’m going to shut up now. But mark my words, I’ll be back. I will return with a fully functioning immune system.

P.S. Ugh, this is gross. People actually drink AND enjoy tea?

P.P.S. I just sneezed and coughed at the same time. It was gross. And painful.


P.P.P.S. HAH! AND, I entered PMS mode. So add Advil Liquid Gels to my cocktail to ease the pain of the horrid cramps.

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