Tuesday, September 12, 2006

The Rant and Rave Files

I feel like giving a good bitching. Fo’ serious.

First on the list, that damn Britney Spears.

Whether or not it’d be true, I can believe it. Why? Cause she’s fucking dumb like that. How lazy can one person be? Apparently, VERY LAZY. “Oh, lookie me, I’m Britney Spears. I’m a lazy fuck. Why celebrate my childrens' birthday on separate days when I can do it all on one day! It’ll be like, killing two birds with one stone!” My God. MY GOD WOMAN. Cunt.

Next up, Toronto, Ontario.

Are you fucking kidding me? This is a joke, right? Please tell me I read this wrong. NOPE, NOT WRONG. I mean, I certainly don’t admit to being brilliant, BUT C’MON PEOPLE. Even I could have figured that out. That is a shame. If I were a relative to the old lady, I would have taken the fuckers that didn’t change the street names, set them on fire, call 911, have the fire department go to the wrong address, THEN LAUGH. Fuck, I know I’m cruel. But I’m sorry, that’s just me. Ask anyone, they’ll tell you.

Now, this one just puzzles me.

What the hell ever happened to good ol’ fashion candy? Sure, it may rot the kid’s teeth, but only if they don’t brush and floss! Seriously though. “C’mon kiddos! Gather round mommy and let’s smoke a joint!” Lady, you make me sick. ‘Nuff said.

Okay. This one. Hah. Kinda makes me giggle.

Of course he thinks he’s the Jesus! I’m sure after being a heroin addict you’re bound to think some crazy, stupid thoughts. HAHAHA. If that’s the case, then there are probably plenty of psycho-whack jobs out there that believe they’re the Jesus. HAHAHA. Moron.

Uh, then there’s this.

To be honest, I don’t even know what to make of it. I’ll pass.



Phew. I feel much better.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Alex said...

Yeah, these stories AJ...where did you find them? By the way, I love how a prominent news source uses the term "willy" in their reporting!

6:04 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Hah. Willy.
These stories were found on fark.com and I've also read similar stories on msn.com.

9:28 AM  

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