Friday, September 08, 2006

Best Vacation Ever?

WARNING: This is a long, boring post that makes me sound so uncool. But, if you want to be guaranteed a good time? You folks should seriously get together with me because you will be certain that by the end of the night, you would have painted the town red, blue AND green.

I am not even kidding when I say that it is amazing that my skin has not turned a lovely shade of jaundice and that I am still surviving. Is it even possible to still be exhausted after taking holidays? Yes, I can confirm that it is.

I had big plans to make my vacation as productive as possible especially since I only had a total of 8 days off. Those plans were shot to hell as I somehow managed to be drunk 6 out of 8 days. And we’re not even talking about, you know, the slight tip of a buzz; we’re talking full-out I am so drunk that HI! Where the hell am I and how did I get here?!

Day 1:

Got off work; went home; got dressed; left home; met friend; went to bar.


Char + AJ + Pool Table = Pool Table Dancing (my math skills are so good)

Dave, T, Ron and Mystery Friend = Amazed

2 a.m.-ish: Char’s friend Bob wants to take her out for food. Bob’s friend wants to take me out for food. We went out for food.

3… 3:30… ish… a.m.?: Stumbled into bed.

4 a.m.-ish: Char calls. Proceed into drunken conversation.

Day 2:

And on this day, God rested and so did I.

Day 3:

Drink specials and $50 bar tab for the rock club. Char and I are back at it.

Two beers each as soon as we get there; shortly after enter more beers and too many shots.



Dancing on tables and speakers has never looked so good. Until the morning after when we found bruises on our body. My bruise is revolting (pictures to come in next post).

3:30 a.m.: Finally leaving club.

4 a.m.: Finally going to bed.

Day 4:


2 p.m.: Woken up to an unpleasant phone call. Argued.

3 p.m.: Get ready to go out.

7 p.m.: Meet Char and others and got told that we’re heading to the pub.




(I seriously cannot stress the amount of drinking we did and all the free shots Ron and Dave got us because they loooooove us)

Just before 3 a.m.: Leaving pub. Plenty of stumbling going on. Plenty of crying (a good friend was leaving the next day to Kelowna for school).

Got home at who knows what time: Went to bed? Really, by this point I have no clue what happened. I think there was another drunken phone call from Char. No wait. HAH. I remember now. It was I that made the drunken phone call this time.

Day 5:

This is where it starts to go really blurry.

OOOH! I remember now!

Party at Jerry’s.

Still painfully hungover from the previous night, Char and I catch the bus to meet Ron to take us to Jerry’s place.

Meet Ron. Find out Jerry and two other guys are doing idiotic hardcore drugs. Ron doesn’t want to take us to Jerry’s. Went to pub.


We call a cab to take us to the pub we were at last night; word on the streets is that everyone else was there.

We waited for a cab at the 7-Eleven. As we stood outside we saw two guys doubling on a single bicycle with one other guy following behind on his own bike.

Two Guys Doubling: *bicycling by*
AJ, Char, Ron: *looks on our faces that say, “what the fuck?!”
AJ, Char, Ron: Look at those fucking losers.
Single Guy Following Doubler: Hey, wait up you guys!
AJ, Char, Ron: Oh my God. We know those fucking losers!

Turns out the cyclists were Jerry and his two friends.

After catching the cab and heading back up north to the pub, well, I’m sure you can guess what happened next.


2:30-ish a.m.: Find out there is a party at Dave’s.

But first, went back to Char’s place where we got out the rum and OJ. At some point Ron passes out so Char pours our drinks into Christmas mugs and out we went to walk to Dave’s place. As of that point, I have no idea what time it was… all I know is that it was some time after 3 a.m.

Wooooo! More drinks at Dave’s!

Chris farts around.

Cody gets his mack on with Char and me.

Ugh, Dave’s roommate Steve… we won’t even get into that.

Battle of the Pirates vs. Ninjas! Who would win?

Tom and I were Pirates all the way. Char, Cody and Chris were Ninjas all the way. Pirates lost. No one else cared.

Cody passes out. Geezus that kid can sleep through anything.

I believe I finally got home around 5 a.m. or so.

Day 6:

BBQ at Char, Ron and Darcy’s place (all roommates). I’m still feeling like ass.

Mmmmm. So much good food and so much to drink.

By this point, Char and I were feeling the effects of a dying liver. We went to bed by 2 a.m. wondering if we would end up waking up the next day.

Day 7:

1 p.m.: Hell yeah! We woke up and were ready to go out again!

But first, to the Tattoo Festival!

I spoke with my tattoo artist, got a glimpse of Kat Von D and saw a lot of hoTT tattoos.

(Side Note: ohmyfuckingod. I just noticed that I forgot the put my ear plugs in this morning. damnitdamnit.)

After spending a few hours at the festival, we all went home again to get ready for that night.

Why? Because Char and I had free cover for us and 14 friends to the rock club! AND drink specials all night. That’s right folks, we gathered up a posse and were back at it.

9 p.m.: Bring on the drinks!





Char and I promised our male friends that we would dance on the table. By the end of the night, our male friends had made a bum load friends with other guys who were standing around watching us.

The two highlights, out of many, of that night that Char and I have decided upon:
1) While on the speakers, two guys got our attention and asked if we wanted to go and party with them after. Our answer: Uh. No thanks.
2) Some guy grabbing my ass to get my attention, and when I turned around to figure out what-the-hell, he raised Char and I the devil horns \m/ and screamed at the top of his lungs, “You two are fucking hot!”

By the time the club closed, I get a call from Ron (who bailed early) asking if I was coming over. Char, Dave and I (the drinking tanks) figured that we’d head back and drink more.

On the way to their place, I knew that if I didn’t eat something I was going to pass out.

We got the cab driver to pull into an A&W drive-thru and we waited. And waited. And waited. The line-up was far too long so Char and I decided to have Dave wait in the cab while she and I made friends with someone further ahead in the line.

Char and I: *walk up to random car* Excuse me. Sorry. We’re in a cab and the price keeps going up because we’re waiting around in this line. Could we order our food with yours? We have money!
Two people inside car: Yeah, sure.
Char and I: Thank you! *pause* Could we come inside your car?
Two people inside car: Uh, yeah, go ahead.
Me: *climbs into vehicle and bumps into something*
Char: It’s a baby seat! *sits in baby seat*

Char and I had a great conversation with these people and got our food MUCH sooner than expected.

We got back to Char’s place and woke up the sleeping drunks on the couches. By 3:30 a.m., it was Char, Dave, Ron, Tyler, Trevor and me. The lone survivors. Until Tyler and Trevor left; then it was four.

*Insert rum and coke in mini-jugs*

Now here’s where it starts to get unbelievable.

So as we were drinking and wondering how the hell we were not dead with sleep, we took out Char’s talking Napoleon Dynamite doll. The four of us then took out our cell phones and pranked a bunch of people with Napoleon quoting various lines from the movie. This was at about 8-friggin-a.m. in the morning. We must have called about 40 people and gotten about 15 phone calls back asking who the hell just called.

If you recall, we woke up on Day 7 at around 1 p.m. Once we got to Char’s place and continued to drink, the remaining four of us drank until 10 a.m. on Day 8. Tanks, I tell ya, we are tanks. By 10:15 a.m., we figured we’d be even more hardcore by walking out in broad daylight, no sleep in our systems, drunk off our asses, and walk down to the pub to drink more.

I have to admit, I’m glad it was the long weekend because when we got the pub it wasn’t open. The four of us hung around the area for a bit when we decided that we are either stupid for being up and drinking that long OR we were the coolest 22, 24, 30 year olds we know.

After we all left and I went back home, I managed to get only four hours of sleep. Four hours of sleep from 1 p.m. Sunday till 1 a.m. Tuesday morning. I couldn’t tell if I was still drunk, hungover or sick from exhaustion.

Day 8 and 9:


Since getting back to work, I have slowly been pulling through and am still very sleepy. I believe my brain is still on vacation and that my liver is plotting against me.

Pictures of the horrid bruise to come later this evening. Be prepared to be disgusted.



Blogger Alex said...

Wow...and you're still alive!? Impressive!

1:58 p.m.  
Blogger AJ said...

I am still alive! Believe me, everyone I know of is impressed as well.

5:54 p.m.  

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