Monday, April 17, 2006

Pathetic Love - Jason #1 - Part 1

One of the reasons, that I’ve stated before, of wanting this site was to be able to look back one day, read my posts and never forgot some of the experiences and emotions that I’ve been through.

Where do I begin with this story…

First, here’s some information about me that the Internet does not know:

I love romance. Love isn’t even strong enough to describe it… I am also slightly embarrassed to say that in the past 7 years I haven’t been single longer than 3 (or is it 4) weeks. And no… that’s not in-between dating each male… that’s in total over 7 years… I am a very independent person, but I am unsure whether my relationship with males is me being dependable. To be honest with you all, I believe it’s because I adore the romantic company, being in love and being loved back… but shhh – I won’t lie – sex plays a part too.

Let’s begin…

My first encounter with love and a long-term relationship begun when I was in the twelfth grade with a guy named Jason (#1). A couple of my friends met some other guys and thought that I should meet their friend Jason. The first time we met there were no sparks, or at least not for me. One night I get a phone call from Jason mentioning that he and his friends were in the neighbourhood and were driving around trying to find my place. They’d honk the car horn and it would ring throughout the streets.

“OHMGOD. You guys are honking your horns at this time of night?!” I said.

Jason replied, “Yeah we are! Just let us know if it gets louder. That way we can make our way through and find your place.”

Well they found me after about 10 minutes of constant honking and (I’m sure) many angry neighbours.

We stood around my backyard for a bit and chatted the usual ‘how’s it going?’ Next thing you know, my mom was flashing the switch to the backyard light and that could only mean, “AJ! Who are those strange boys standing there?!” Fifteen minutes later he and his friends left.

The next day my friend tells me that Jason wants to ask me out. So sure, why not? The next thing you know we were inseparable. There was never an end to the make-out sessions or the sex. It truly was bliss.

Shortly before graduation, I noticed things changing between us. He was becoming more obnoxious and he was apparently going no where in life. He had been kicked out of school, kicked out of home, begun to love his car more than me and had no goals set for the future.

Graduation came and went. I had invited Jason to be my date for grad (um hi – my boyfriend), but he turned it down.

Him: Oh, well, I don’t like the people at your high school. They are a few pricks there that I played hockey with.

Pfft. Like I give a flying-fuck.

He told me that he’d be there for the after-grad, but when 12:00 a.m. struck and he hadn’t shown up yet I knew that I should stop holding my breath. Thinking back on it, he never did give me a reason of why he never showed up…

Days went by and I was becoming more irritated and unhappy; he seemed to be having a blast trying to see how far he could go in terms of annoying me. He had moved from place to place, unable to hold down a job without a proper education and spent what money he had on his car that kept breaking down.

At this point I was set it ending the relationship with Jason. We have had conversations about trying to make things work, but in the end it never did work. He would constantly beg for another two weeks to try to get things back to the way they were, but it.was.not.working! Then he’d ask for another two weeks… then another… by this point I said, “FUCK OFF, TAKE A HINT!”

Soon enough, I discovered the world of “older men”. I was still 17 years old at the time so I wasn’t about to jump into anything that could get someone in trouble… but I tell ya… I had my eyes set on someone… well, two someone’s.

First there was SP. He must have been 20 or 21 years old at the time and I tell ya, every girl loved him… absolutely gorgeous and absolutely not looking for anything serious. He ended up having a child at 18 years old (I believe) with girlfriend at the time. At some point during the pregnancy, they had ended their relationship and continued to make plans on how to bring up the child without having him neglected as the father. For the rest of my life, I will always remember him as the young, single dad that I made out with in various parking lots and recreation parks. SP was there for fun, but then there was Steve - a man who at 20 years old knew what he wanted and how to get it.

Jason (#1) ended up as a past nightmare, err, I mean, memory and up next Steve Part 2.

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