They're After Me
OH MY FUCKING GAWWWWWWWWWD.
Now I am damn paranoid!@#$%&*
I saw something come at me while I was sitting at my desk.
I was all, “WHOA.”
I took out a compact mirror and checked myself out. There was something in my hair. I took my pen and flicked it off.
I thought I was safe.
Until.
The insect came back, full force.
I got a good look at it.
IT WAS A MOSQUITO COMING TO SUCK MY BLOOOOOOD.
I have enough mosquito bites. I don’t need more. I need my blood. I don’t need West Nile Virus.
I freaked out. COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT. (I’m a sissy, I know.)
I GRABBED MY PEN AND STARTED SWINGING IT AROUND LIKE A MAD WOMAN.
That’s right. I tried to fight off a mosquito WITH A PEN.
WHAT THE FUCK.
It wasn’t working (obviously). The Devil Blood Sucking Mosquito kept trying to get to my face.
I threw the pen and ran.
Literally.
I also screamed. A little.
I hope no one saw or heard.
Now my skin is crawling and I’m all shifty-eyed.
Now I am damn paranoid!@#$%&*
I saw something come at me while I was sitting at my desk.
I was all, “WHOA.”
I took out a compact mirror and checked myself out. There was something in my hair. I took my pen and flicked it off.
I thought I was safe.
Until.
The insect came back, full force.
I got a good look at it.
IT WAS A MOSQUITO COMING TO SUCK MY BLOOOOOOD.
I have enough mosquito bites. I don’t need more. I need my blood. I don’t need West Nile Virus.
I freaked out. COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT. (I’m a sissy, I know.)
I GRABBED MY PEN AND STARTED SWINGING IT AROUND LIKE A MAD WOMAN.
That’s right. I tried to fight off a mosquito WITH A PEN.
WHAT THE FUCK.
It wasn’t working (obviously). The Devil Blood Sucking Mosquito kept trying to get to my face.
I threw the pen and ran.
Literally.
I also screamed. A little.
I hope no one saw or heard.
Now my skin is crawling and I’m all shifty-eyed.
Labels: Easily Amused, Story Time
posted by AJ at
12:00 p.m.
4 Comments:
hahaha! ick.
Nothing to be ashamed about AJ. I have a near-crippling fear of insects, myself, and just got back from a camping trip in the wilds of New Hampshire. Beautiful, but I flipped out at the giant bugs that my friend Brian's girlfriend had to kill for me. Pathetic, I know.
Watch out! There's one!
Laugh it up, folks!
I'd like to mention that after reading Nick's comment, that I actually saw one of those tiny fruit flies, flying around. Thankfully those don't scare me... as much.
I can relate to Alex's comment. I really do enjoy camping - I really do! But the bugs... and flies... and insects... and ewwwww.
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