Friday, July 14, 2006

They're After Me

OH MY FUCKING GAWWWWWWWWWD.

Now I am damn paranoid!@#$%&*

I saw something come at me while I was sitting at my desk.

I was all, “WHOA.”

I took out a compact mirror and checked myself out. There was something in my hair. I took my pen and flicked it off.

I thought I was safe.

Until.

The insect came back, full force.

I got a good look at it.

IT WAS A MOSQUITO COMING TO SUCK MY BLOOOOOOD.

I have enough mosquito bites. I don’t need more. I need my blood. I don’t need West Nile Virus.

I freaked out. COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT. (I’m a sissy, I know.)

I GRABBED MY PEN AND STARTED SWINGING IT AROUND LIKE A MAD WOMAN.

That’s right. I tried to fight off a mosquito WITH A PEN.

WHAT THE FUCK.

It wasn’t working (obviously). The Devil Blood Sucking Mosquito kept trying to get to my face.

I threw the pen and ran.

Literally.

I also screamed. A little.

I hope no one saw or heard.

Now my skin is crawling and I’m all shifty-eyed.

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4 Comments:

Anonymous dawn said...

hahaha! ick.

12:37 PM  
Blogger Alex said...

Nothing to be ashamed about AJ. I have a near-crippling fear of insects, myself, and just got back from a camping trip in the wilds of New Hampshire. Beautiful, but I flipped out at the giant bugs that my friend Brian's girlfriend had to kill for me. Pathetic, I know.

7:59 PM  
Blogger Nick said...

Watch out! There's one!

7:17 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Laugh it up, folks!

I'd like to mention that after reading Nick's comment, that I actually saw one of those tiny fruit flies, flying around. Thankfully those don't scare me... as much.

I can relate to Alex's comment. I really do enjoy camping - I really do! But the bugs... and flies... and insects... and ewwwww.

1:12 PM  

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