Mr. Psychic Man
Back however many years ago, possibly three or so, my sister dragged me to a Psychic Fair. What the…? Yes, a Psychic Fair.
My sister is a huge believer in psychics and magic stones and potions and tarot cards and all that errr “interesting” stuff. I’m not quite sure if she is still practicing her tarot skills and such, but I know she still sleeps with these weird stones under her pillow. Personally, I don’t buy any of that stuff and after seeing a psychic myself, I firmly do not believe in the magic of it all.
At the time of this Psychic Fair, I had been a couple months into the relationship with Chad but still frequently thought of Jason #2 (circa after break-up #1). Also, during this time, my sister had wanted me to go to Greece with her for a two week trip before I became employed full-time after finishing post-secondary. My thoughts surrounding these events were: Am I going to be able to “move on” and get over Dipshit (his given name before he upgraded to the current Fucktard)? Will this new guy screw me over like the rest (Hah. I know, I’m a pessimist)? Do I really want to get on a plane and risk losing my life because ohmygod screw physics! should something that large be in mid-air (no, really. should it?!)?!
My sister had decided to go for the full-out reading, which had the asking price of well over $100. Being the sceptic that I am, I only forked out approximately $60-80 which was the mid-range asking price.
During the session, the psychic recorded on cassette the half hour session for me and the hour session for my sister.
The following two points are only a couple of reasons why I don’t believe in psychics:
1. Said psychic told my sister that within the year she would fall in love and be pregnant out of wedlock. Please excuse me while I piss myself from laughing.
Okay. I’m okay. Allow me to explain why this was not only funny but also so not true. My sister doesn’t quite want to fall in love. Back many years ago her heart was broken by the one guy she loved. Since then… Well, let me put it this way. Up here in Canada, there is a statistic, of some sort, regarding the average number of sex partners that a person has. I believe the number is seven. My sister proudly admits that she has surpassed that. By a lot. I mean, A LOT. Just yesterday she told me that she has started going through the alphabet. “Lets see… I’ve got A, B, C, E, F, M, N… Gotta find an O… I have T…” And she went on and on from there. Oh, and she has not become pregnant.
2. For me, the psychic said that I had been battling my emotions between two men. That part was true. But then the psychic took a wrong turn at, “The man you are with now will be the one for you and you can trust him. He will make a mistake, but only once, and from that point he will never harm you again.”
Oh, Psychic Man, you are SOOO funny! Psychic Man apparently failed to read the memo on how Asswipe screwed me over.
Now, I gotta admit. Psychic Man was right on one thing. During my reading he mentioned that he saw “travelling” for me. I was stunned by this because, as mentioned earlier, my sister and I were thinking of going to Greece (well, my sister was thinking about it, I was dreading it). Then Mr. Psychic Man had to open his big mouth and mention, “I am getting the feeling from my sources (his what?!) that you are uncertain of this trip I’m envisioning (envisi-what?!) and that this trip will not occur.”
At that moment, my eyes darted toward my sister and the look she gave me… It was worse than a glare… worse than If Looks Could Kill… it was like, “DIE EVIL SISTER OF MINE, DIIIEEEEE.”
Funny. To this day I still don’t think she has forgiven me for emitting magical rays to the psychics “sources” about how leery I was about the trip.
My sister is a huge believer in psychics and magic stones and potions and tarot cards and all that errr “interesting” stuff. I’m not quite sure if she is still practicing her tarot skills and such, but I know she still sleeps with these weird stones under her pillow. Personally, I don’t buy any of that stuff and after seeing a psychic myself, I firmly do not believe in the magic of it all.
At the time of this Psychic Fair, I had been a couple months into the relationship with Chad but still frequently thought of Jason #2 (circa after break-up #1). Also, during this time, my sister had wanted me to go to Greece with her for a two week trip before I became employed full-time after finishing post-secondary. My thoughts surrounding these events were: Am I going to be able to “move on” and get over Dipshit (his given name before he upgraded to the current Fucktard)? Will this new guy screw me over like the rest (Hah. I know, I’m a pessimist)? Do I really want to get on a plane and risk losing my life because ohmygod screw physics! should something that large be in mid-air (no, really. should it?!)?!
My sister had decided to go for the full-out reading, which had the asking price of well over $100. Being the sceptic that I am, I only forked out approximately $60-80 which was the mid-range asking price.
During the session, the psychic recorded on cassette the half hour session for me and the hour session for my sister.
The following two points are only a couple of reasons why I don’t believe in psychics:
1. Said psychic told my sister that within the year she would fall in love and be pregnant out of wedlock. Please excuse me while I piss myself from laughing.
Okay. I’m okay. Allow me to explain why this was not only funny but also so not true. My sister doesn’t quite want to fall in love. Back many years ago her heart was broken by the one guy she loved. Since then… Well, let me put it this way. Up here in Canada, there is a statistic, of some sort, regarding the average number of sex partners that a person has. I believe the number is seven. My sister proudly admits that she has surpassed that. By a lot. I mean, A LOT. Just yesterday she told me that she has started going through the alphabet. “Lets see… I’ve got A, B, C, E, F, M, N… Gotta find an O… I have T…” And she went on and on from there. Oh, and she has not become pregnant.
2. For me, the psychic said that I had been battling my emotions between two men. That part was true. But then the psychic took a wrong turn at, “The man you are with now will be the one for you and you can trust him. He will make a mistake, but only once, and from that point he will never harm you again.”
Oh, Psychic Man, you are SOOO funny! Psychic Man apparently failed to read the memo on how Asswipe screwed me over.
Now, I gotta admit. Psychic Man was right on one thing. During my reading he mentioned that he saw “travelling” for me. I was stunned by this because, as mentioned earlier, my sister and I were thinking of going to Greece (well, my sister was thinking about it, I was dreading it). Then Mr. Psychic Man had to open his big mouth and mention, “I am getting the feeling from my sources (his what?!) that you are uncertain of this trip I’m envisioning (envisi-what?!) and that this trip will not occur.”
At that moment, my eyes darted toward my sister and the look she gave me… It was worse than a glare… worse than If Looks Could Kill… it was like, “DIE EVIL SISTER OF MINE, DIIIEEEEE.”
Funny. To this day I still don’t think she has forgiven me for emitting magical rays to the psychics “sources” about how leery I was about the trip.
Labels: Story Time
posted by AJ at
10:37 a.m.
4 Comments:
The important question is...did you end up going to Greece?
I don't buy the psychic stuff, either.
Haha. No. We never did go. I ended up with a job almost instantly after I graduated. My sister was fairly peeved about it, but she understood. I think...
Greece is an awesome country to visit; you owe it to yourself to make it there someday. Admittedly, I am biased, but that's beside the point!
My sister had been to Greece prior to asking me if I'd like to go with her. She absolutely loved it there and I would definitely like to go there one day.
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